I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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