ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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