Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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