Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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