Dual....:-)
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
