come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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