Porn is love you can see.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
