but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
