And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
