I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
