Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
