You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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