I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Randomize
