you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
