If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Randomize
