New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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