their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
