i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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