Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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