but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize