OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
