i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
try to milk me bitch
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