We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
