can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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