Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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