There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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