So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
another moral hangover. fuck.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
