Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize