Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
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