Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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