I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
