Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize