im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
