Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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