Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize