I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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