They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
