goodnight i made you a song goodbye
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
