Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
