It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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