so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
He kissed a someone with a penis
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
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