She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
