Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
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