U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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