Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
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I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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