Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Welp...herpes.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
