Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
