I'm laying in your front yard are you home
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
