Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
