Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
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