I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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