I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
