She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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