as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
