He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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