It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
