her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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