tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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