Dual....:-)
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Randomize
