and next time when you feel me up, do it right
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
